Saturday, May 5, 2012

How to Hit the Bottom

Sitting in a green couch in which they always get uncomfortable feelings. If only a soul-mate (if so called) fills you with blank feelings, you can just ask yourself “why am I going through this pointless relationship?” They keep saying, I love you, though. Such a meanless progress, when you are just full-filled with such emptiness. Still, you sometimes miss that feeling. This is the weird part, I think. This makes you realize that you are still a human.

Have you ever thought that you look like a chimpanzee when you are kissing the one you love? Having your lips upon her lips, such an ugly moment. Picturing people having sex is also a comedia. However, you keep enjoying this ugly moment because of your penis. I would like to say to her, “you have a moustache”. Still, girls are considered beautiful because they have cunts.

Whenever you think of your life putting in order, you always end up with this shitty result: why so serious? Because it’s never “that” serious and you just get mad at yourself. Why would you even need this person when she/he already screws up your whole life? Yet it sounds like a teenager complaining, it’s the truth itself.

As long as you realise, life is not that serious, you start worrying about others because they are way too serious. People, who are get involved with politics, for instance. Thinking their country is such a holy country, sounds like they are just bunch of losers. In fact, they completely are. Kids grow up with their idiotic bravery stories and end up the same. It’s like, you are living in this country so it must be the best one because you are the best. I think, the basic feeling behind this fascism is totally about that. You love your country because you love yourself. You think you deserve this much but you are totally fucked up. And if you realise that you are fucked up before you die, they blame you by calling you an anarchist or public enemy.

Realising that you are fucked up with all the details of your life and accepting it is sort of a total freedom. Just glide along, like the water itself. Everything goes from your life and you’re such a loser. And until you’re accepting this truth, you are totally lost. If you’d been an immortal as you thought, you wouldn’t have watched super-hero movies. You watch those stuff because it impresses you, being an immortal. Because you are totally fucked up and no one gives you a shit. In fact, some people even want you dead because of your identity.

Some say: “Pretend that you’re fine” but it’s always far away from that and you keep trying it over and over again. I’ve found my own solution: “accept the truth and confront with it” which should be accepting how your life sucks and how pathetic you are because this is the only truth. Accept all of the details one by one until the end.

“Music is your only friend,
 Until the end...” - James Douglas Morrison.


  1. You know, I think that people who can watch everything without any feelings are in the best situation. Why? Because they can see everything very clearly, no emotions are disturbing the view. But at the same time they're loosing so much. And I'm not sure if I could just "accept everything and confront with it" because the reality is sometimes so abstract that you don't want to know it better.
    You're quoting Jim. For me he was completly lost in the reality. He was the shaman and through his music he was showing us the way he sees. (btw. Do you listen to The Doors?)

  2. I listen to The Doors. In fact, they are my favorite band. Jim Morrison's been my idol for years. I think, Morrison was obsessed with death and it was more about he was unable to put a meaning to the life's itself. But at the same time, he wanted to feel all of the things we call "reality". Quoting from him: " I believe in a long prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown... Although I live in the subconscious, our pale reason hides the infinite from us."

    Jim Morrison wasn't against anything. And it's sort of my motto. I think the same way. What I meant to say by "accept everything and confront with it" was actually totally about that. Everything is so clear to be denied and you're not able to do anything about it. You can just sort of glide along with it. That's the idea. That's the whole journey.