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Monday, October 1, 2012

L'oubli



I used to make love when I had headaches, back then. Now all my body is sore. What could a little creature with black eyes do to me? To someone who was on the verge and said: "not now", someone that is no brave. I now ask the brain particle that gets rotted in my skull: "when will you end?" I am the paranoid that thinks all the world got together to destroy me. Yes.

When I want to live like these unconcerned women that wear daisies right on their ears, I now feel the thorns that stab my brain lobes through my skull. Still, those silence movie frames that go through my eyes, make me feel like I do have a brain. I once heard this sentence from a very bizarre animation movie: "Remembering is a more psychotic activity than forgetting." Yes. It exactly said this. I at least know that I am not a psycho. I accept it, like the people who agree with all these descriptive sentences. Yes, I am not a psycho. I am at least not this. I forget everything. I forget the people I thought I would never forget, the moments I said I would never forget, all of them... I one more time will fade away with my emotionless frame of my mind that hit the bottom till there is no even a tiny memory in my mind. How wonderful! I will become a goldfish soon. There won't even be a memory to forget. Who cares for someone who doesn't even remember a frame from his life? I now know the difference between saying, I don't remember and I don't know. That would be: NOTHING...