Sitting in a green couch in which
they always get uncomfortable feelings. If only a soul-mate (if so called)
fills you with blank feelings, you can just ask yourself “why am I going
through this pointless relationship?” They keep saying, I love you, though.
Such a meanless progress, when you are just full-filled with such emptiness.
Still, you sometimes miss that feeling. This is the weird part, I think. This
makes you realize that you are still a human.
Have you ever thought that you
look like a chimpanzee when you are kissing the one you love? Having your lips
upon her lips, such an ugly moment. Picturing people having sex is also a
comedia. However, you keep enjoying this ugly moment because of your penis. I
would like to say to her, “you have a moustache”. Still, girls are considered
beautiful because they have cunts.
Whenever you think of your life
putting in order, you always end up with this shitty result: why so serious? Because
it’s never “that” serious and you just get mad at yourself. Why would you even
need this person when she/he already screws up your whole life? Yet it sounds
like a teenager complaining, it’s the truth itself.
As long as you realise, life is
not that serious, you start worrying about others because they are way too
serious. People, who are get involved with politics, for instance. Thinking
their country is such a holy country, sounds like they are just bunch of
losers. In fact, they completely are. Kids grow up with their idiotic bravery
stories and end up the same. It’s like, you are living in this country so it
must be the best one because you are the best. I think, the basic feeling
behind this fascism is totally about that. You love your country because you
love yourself. You think you deserve this much but you are totally fucked up.
And if you realise that you are fucked up before you die, they blame you by
calling you an anarchist or public enemy.
Realising that you are fucked up
with all the details of your life and accepting it is sort of a total freedom.
Just glide along, like the water itself. Everything goes from your life and
you’re such a loser. And until you’re accepting this truth, you are totally
lost. If you’d been an immortal as you thought, you wouldn’t have watched
super-hero movies. You watch those stuff because it impresses you, being an
immortal. Because you are totally fucked up and no one gives you a shit. In
fact, some people even want you dead because of your identity.
Some say: “Pretend that you’re
fine” but it’s always far away from that and you keep trying it over and over
again. I’ve found my own solution: “accept the truth and confront with it”
which should be accepting how your life sucks and how pathetic you are because
this is the only truth. Accept all of the details one by one until the end.
“Music is your only friend,
Until the end...” - James Douglas Morrison.
